Transformation is Underway

   Before our youth retreat, Ashley and I were talking with Kenia about the relationships that she can see in her community. We asked who she knew that had a marriage that she would want to emulate. She couldn’t think of a single marriage in her community that helped her to see what she wanted in a relationship. That broke my heart! I know that true transformation in Candelaria is going to require the rebuilding of family. I long to see my youth have healthier families than those in which they have been raised.
   It was strong on our hearts to teach on purity and healthy relationships. I was really excited to see what the Lord was going to do through these times of teaching. I was praying that the Lord would spark something in these teenagers hearts that would give them the urge to search for something more.
   Jake taught the first night on learning how to receive God’s love. We know that only in understanding our identity as His beloved will we truly be free to love others. Up until that point, we go into every relationship expecting the other person to fill a void that only God can fill. I long to see the youth falling in love with the Lord more and more everyday and to stand secure in His love. It was so beautiful to see the youth entering into His presence and experiencing His love in a new way! So many of our youth received healing for their wounds as they sat in His love. Oh, how beautiful is His unfailing love!!
  The second day, we moved from knowing in God’s love to talking about how to have healthy relationships. Ashley did an amazing job of teaching on what the heart needs in order to have healthy relationships. She talked about the balance between being open and vulnerable with others and guarding your heart. She also talked about the way that relationships should progress in a healthy way where your emotional connection, responsibility in the other person’s life, and physical intimacy are all growing in a proportionate way. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out how all of these things look in a different culture. Nicaragua is such an affectionate culture; there is so much physical touch in every relationship that it becomes so easy for physical intimacy to move so much faster than the commitment and emotional connection. Also, alot of the flirtiness and affection will continue even when you are in a relationship with someone else. It was good to see the youth starting to think through those actions and the way that it doesn’t honor your boyfriend/girlfriend to continue flirting and being really affectionate with other people. They were asking a lot of questions this day and really discussing how to have healthier relationships.
   That night we were able to split the guys and the girls for some more open discussions on relationships and purity. Jake and Diego were with the guys camping in the cave behind the waterfall. It was good to get the guys out in the wildness of nature to really facilitate open sharing. Our night with the girls was much more sleepover-style all piled into one room together, eating cookies, talking and laughing for hours as we shared. It was a really good time of giving them space to share what’s happening in their current and past relationships, where they struggle, and what they deserve in their future relationships. I really can see that these girls want more than what they have seen in their parents’ marriages. They are starting to see their own worth and are expecting to be treated with love and respect.
   I finished up our last day of teaching talking about the Lord’s standards of purity and how to wait on the Lord. We talked about what the Lord has already said about relationships. We talked about the importance of being in a relationship with someone who is also seeking the Lord and walking in purity in your relationships. We also talked about what it means to seek the Lord’s guidance over your relationships and waiting on Him in trust. We looked at the life of Abraham and the tenacious waiting that was required to wait for Isaac, the child of God’s promise. We looked at the pain and destruction caused when Abraham and Sarah tried to take matters into their own hands and complete the promise without God. We talked about waiting for God’s best for your life and continuing to wait in trust. This culture puts so much pressure on the youth (especially the girls) to be married at a really young age (most of the youth will be married before they are 20). So many women settle for terrible relationships out of fear that nothing else will come along. I’m definitely an oddity here being 27 and still single, but through that the Lord has given me a lot of authority to speak to the youth about waiting on the Lord.
   It was such a beautiful weekend! I loved seeing the youth really seeking the Lord about what it means to have healthy relationships. My heart longs to see them grow in that. I remember sitting in the back of the truck on the way home from the retreat looking at all of our kids knowing that some of them will not walk in the things that we talked about this weekend. Some of them will settle for a marriage that is so much less than God desires for them. That’s tough to think about, but statistically it’s just the hard truth. However, I do believe that some of them will desire what God desires and will be willing to wait for it. In fact, we are seeing the first fruits already. A couple of our kids have come back from the retreat and ended relationships because those relationships were not what the Lord has for them. Some have decided to slow down their relationships to take time to pray through them and seek the Lord’s guidance. Change is coming. In fact, transformation is already underway.