Speaking LIFE in the Dirt

   He hid his face. He sat in the dirt between the two trees and refused to look up. I tried talking to him, but he refused to come sit in the chair with me or to look at me. I knew they were things that had to be said and that must be said today…

     So I stood up. Walked over to him and sat down in the dirt. I placed my arms around him and began to speak life over his sweet heart. I placed my hands on either side of his face and looked into his eyes. My eyes filled with tears. I began to tell him all the things I wanted to make sure that he knows about the Lord’s love for him and about who he is, “I know that a lot of times you don’t feel loved. I know that you feel overlooked. I know that you’ve endured a lot here. But I want you to know that you are so dearly loved. You are loved. You are loved by me and so deeply loved by the Lord. He has beautiful plans for your life. You are strong, intelligent, full of joy, and so kind. You have so much to offer and He has big things for you. Ignore the voices that tell you anything different. Hold on to His love for you."

    I found out that my sweet little love Allan would be leaving two days later to go and live with his dad for at least a month. This boy has captured my heart! Part of the reason is because I know that he doesn't feel loved in his daily life. (Read: Chosen) I hear the way his family talks to him and about him. I know that he often feels unloved. I know that he endures a lot of emotional abuse. My heart has always been for the children who need someone to fight for their hearts, someone to love them. When I heard that he was leaving, I knew that there were things I needed to say to him, things I wanted to make sure that he heard and could carry with him.

    I know that these stories are only connected in my heart, but as I sat there in the dirt holding Allan's face in my hands, both of us with tears in our eyes, and telling him truth about who he is all I could think about was Charliyah. She is a tiny, bubbly girl from my first year teaching in Atlanta (pictured right with some of my precious Atlanta students). Charliyah was the very first abused child that I worked with. I loved her deeply. And then one day she was just gone…  Child services had moved her to a new home and thus a new school. I never saw her again. I never knew how things turned out for her. There are a lot of things that I still regret never getting to say to her. I still think about her often. Charliyah would be 17 now. I wonder if she knows her own worth. I wonder if she found a safe, caring family that loved her well. I wonder if she followed in the footsteps of so many young girls in her neighborhood and has already become a mom. I wonder if she is getting ready to graduate or if she dropped out. I wonder if someone introduced her to Jesus.  

    I know that Charliyah knew that I loved her. But I wish I had taken the time to just speak truth over her about who she is and all the greatness that the Lord placed in her. She has helped me to be a lot more intentional about speaking truth over precious kids who need to know that they're loved.

    And so I sat down in the dirt and told Allan all the things that I wanted him to know about himself. We threw him a going away party with all the kids in the neighborhood and a piñata (pictured left). I believe he felt more loved and celebrated that evening than he ever had before. We prayed over him. We sent him off to his dad's house loved and surrounded by the presence of the Lord. The plan is for him to come back to Santa Matilde next month to start the new school year. I'm praying that will happen. I'm praying for more time with this sweet boy. I'm praying for transformation in his family where they will learn to love him well. But mostly I'm praying that he will know himself through the eyes of his Heavenly Father who loves him so much more than he can imagine. 

    At the end of his party Allan flitted from hug to hug. One embrace to the next soaking in the love that surrounded him. Right before I left I placed my hands on his cheeks and looked at him and said, "Remember what I told you yesterday." A huge smile spread across his face, he nodded his head yes, and then dashed away. It broke my heart to send him off, but I know the Lord loves him far more than I ever could and that He walks with Allan wherever he goes. And I trust that the Lord will love him so well when I can't.