My Journey: Following the Spirit

 By day the Lord went ahead of them in a pillar of cloud to guide them on their way and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so that they could travel by day or night. Neither the pillar of cloud by day nor the pillar of fire by night left its place in front of the people. ~Exodus 13:21-22

  The Lord led them. He never left His place in front of them.

    We all know that the Israelites wandered in the desert for 40 years and I realize that this was a result of their unbelief. However, often that's all we focus on- the lack of faith. But here are a people who spent forty years following the Presence of the Lord.

At the Lord’s command the Israelites set out, and at His command they encamped.  As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp. When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the Lord’s order and did not set out. Sometimes the cloud was over the tabernacle only a few days; at the Lord’s command they would encamp, and then at His command they would set out. Sometimes the cloud stayed only from evening till morning, and when it lifted in the morning, they set out. Whether by day or by night, whenever the cloud lifted, they set out. Whether the cloud stayed over the tabernacle for two days or a month or a year, the Israelites would remain in camp and not set out; but when it lifted, they would set out. ~Numbers 9:18-22

    When the cloud or pillar began to move, everyone moved. When He stopped, they camped. And they stayed until He moved again.  In the same way, we must be led by the Spirit.

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. ~Romans 8:14 

    When He moves, we must follow after Him. When He stops in a place, we need to camp there with Him. For me, the camping is much more difficult than the running forward. I love to set out on unknown adventures with my Jesus. I love exploring new destinations. I love the way that the overwhelming bigness of these new places pushes me deeper into His heart.

    But the camping in one place, knowing that it is a desert location and not my final destination, is difficult for me. My heart gets restless. I long to finish journeys, to make things happen, to force doors open and run ahead again. My heart is restless in the waiting. I think I often miss the fullness of the desert journey because I try to rush the times of being encamped with the Lord. Kelly Chadwick wrote a beautiful post about the beauty and purpose of camping in the desert. You can read it here: The God of Around.

    This journey toward the Abide foster home is teaching my heart about desert journeys and allowing my heart to rest in His leading. This has been a long journey. Last year the Lord began to open doors. I bought land for the home. I received my Nicaraguan residency. The Lord gave my heart two daughters to love. The Lord was opening doors so quickly that I felt like I was sprinting to keep up. And then, just as suddenly as it began, all movement halted.

   My non-profit paperwork remains stalled with the IRS. There is no money to build the home. There has been nothing I can do to speed up the process. I intercede and cry out to the Lord. The only thing He has said to me is, "Sometimes your holding patterns aren't about you." That's it. Nearly eight months my heart has been camped here without movement. Waiting. Listening for His voice. Watching closely for movement. Feeling helpless to make anything happen on my own. Learning peace in the resting. Waiting on Him.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope. ~Psalm 130:5

   I'm seeking peace in the goodness of His heart and the faithfulness of His promises. What He began, He will complete in His time. My life is just a tiny part of a much greater plan of redemption. When the Lord moves, I am ready to run again. Until then… I wait, let my heart cry out to my Father, and trust.

I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. ~Psalm 40:1

   In the last month, I feel the wind beginning to stir. I believe that the movement of the Spirit is coming quickly. Pray with me.