On Family

    As I continue to move toward this dream of the Abide home while simultaneously working with the beautiful and broken families of Chichigalpa, my heart has been deeply searching what these next steps will look like. My heart has been contemplating the kind of family that I want to create for the children that will be mine and the ways that I ultimately want to fight for restoration of family in this area.

    I’ve struggled to discover, and am still struggling, with how to both advocate for children and believe in the restoration of first families. I can boldly proclaim that all children should have a safe home where they feel loved and protected. I can also wholeheartedly say that I long to see first families restored and will fight for that restoration. These things are easy to say, but it’s heartbreakingly difficult to flesh out in the midst of real families and intense struggles. When do you allow children to stay in a situation that is less than ideal because you are working with families to help them provide better care? When do you say a situation is too harmful and the children must be removed from the home? Some situations are abusive and clear cut, but others are various shades of gray colored by lack of education and resources and are much more difficult to navigate. 

    I have no answers. I just have a mind full of questions and heart filled with passion for true family. I still do not know how to walk all of this out. This year has pushed me so much deeper into the 

Lord’s heart as I search for answers in real heartbreak, brokenness, healing, and rejoicing.

    I have two girls that I love with all of my heart. I wish they could be mine. I love them like my own. I call them my daughters and they call me mama. I was able to be a mom to them when they needed one; to love them, counsel them, and pour into their lives. Now I see their dad stepping back into the picture. I see him stepping up and being a father. And it's such a good thing, but my heart still distrusts. There are days that I still arrogantly think that I can provide a better family. I know they need their dad. I know, brokenhearted, that I have to give him the space and authority in their lives that he deserves. It’s a constant battle. It is the back and forth in my heart and my mind. To love deeply, to embrace children as your own, and to step back and let go when there is a chance for restoration. To celebrate and rejoice with them. 

 

    I have four girls living in an extremely impoverished and uneducated home. I know that their parents care, but they do not know how to properly care for their children. The girls are underweight, malnourished, and constantly sick. It's been a consistent battle this year helping to care for their girls, fighting for their health, and discipling their parents. Mi Familia is observing the family and it is possible that they could lose their parental rights. My heart breaks for them. I feel caught in the middle between wanting to push for restoration in the family and wanting to ensure that the precious girls are cared for and safe. 

   It is because of my deep love for families like this that my heart is continuously spurred on toward the Abide home. As I walk through this situation with this family, I keep thinking "if only I had my home…." 

   I can see the ways that the Abide home would open options. It would give these girls a place to come and live in the present. It would provide them with a safe and loving home right now when theirs is not. Their parents could feel secure knowing that their girls are being loved and cared for by someone who knows them if they are not able to stay in their current home. I could help restore their health. I would be able to train and disciple their parents without leaving the girls in a harmful situation in the meantime. We could together love these girls, bring them into wellness, and move toward reuniting the family in a healthier way. Oh, how my heart longs to the days when this is possible! This is the kind of family I long to be. This is the heart behind Abide. 

*Hopefully we will be able to start construction on the Abide home in January 2015. In order to do that, I need to raise $70,000 by the end of the year. If you would like to help contribute to this dream, this family, you can make a tax-free donation to Abide, Inc. through our website http://abideinlove.org.