My Journey: Learning to Long

    Let me preface all of this by saying: I LOVE MY LIFE!! I love the work that I am blessed to be a part of here in Candelaria. I absolutely adore my youth more than I ever thought possible. I love teaching them the Bible, discipling them, and seeing them come alive in Christ. It’s the best thing I’ve ever had the opportunity to do! And yet…

    Lately I have begun to feel a stirring in my heart. It is a longing to step into the dreams that the Lord has placed in my heart. While I wholeheartedly love the work that the Lord has given me among these teenagers, I always knew that there were specific dreams the Lord has placed in my heart for future ministry. The Lord spoke to me before and during the World Race putting a dream in my heart to one day have a home for children who are orphaned, abandoned, and abused. My deepest desire in the Kingdom is to be family for those who need family and to speak to them in real ways the truth that they are delighted in and unbelievably loved by the Lord.
    I see all the work that we are doing with the teenagers trying to undo childhood hurts and bring the Lord’s healing to hearts that have been so deeply marred by rejection, abuse, and lies of the enemy. I really have a longing to take these kids in at a young age and through giving them a loving home bring the wholeness that the Lord is offering to their hearts.

    I always knew this is where my life here in Nicaragua was headed. In fact, I shared this dream with Tommy and Linda when I first talked about coming to New Song to make sure it lined up with their long-term plans for ministry. I always knew this dream was in my future, but for the past year I have been just loving my life and ministry with the teenagers and focusing on learning the language and culture that it left little time to dream this dream. It moved to the back burner of my mind.
   Recently, the Lord has begun to stir my heart to this dream. He has been using some of the precious infants and children in Candelaria and Nuevo Amanecer to cause my heart to long for this dream. It has been beautiful to have my heart reawakened to this dream, but longing is also incredibly painful (especially when those things for which you are longing do not appear to be quickly approaching). So, the Lord is teaching me to long in healthy ways; in a way that I really feel the depth of my desire to step into the dreams He has for me while waiting for His timing in patience and trust.

   The other day, during our team worship time, I was talking to the Lord about how hard it is to long for things when it’s not yet His timing and asking Him why He is beginning to stir my heart to these dreams so much when it’s not quite time to step into them. The Lord brought me to these verses in Romans.

    He was showing me that there is not only a purpose in waiting for Him, but there is purpose in the difficulty and suffering of the waiting. There is a perseverance and character that He needs to develop in my that will be developed through the fact that the longing and waiting is difficult. And in the end there is hope that will not disappoint.

    And in the meantime… I allow the Lord to stir my heart. I long. I wait. When it’s hard to long and wait, I bring it back to Him. I continue to work that He has placed in front of me now and enjoy every minute of it!
    There is a song by John Waller that I have come to love called “While I’m Waiting” and I want to end with the lyrics from the first half of the song.

    So personally this is where I am. My heart is being stirred to new things. I’m waiting on the Lord. I’m trusting Him. I’m learning how to really long and let the Lord use that longing to develop my character. And until the Lord actually has me move into new things I will continue to run and love the race He has put before me now.