Everything that has happened in the last few months, began with a simple scripture.
"Blessed is she who has believed that everything the Lord
has spoken to her will be accomplished!"
~ Luke 1:45
My heart
cried out, "Yes Lord! I believe it!" And, as a result, He has begun to move…
Almost five
years ago, the Lord planted a dream in my heart to become family for children
who haven't known the love of a family (To understand this dream's beginning, read
My Kind of Family). In the last couple of months, the Lord has begun to move in this
dream. He has begun to open doors and has been speaking to my heart through Deuteronomy telling me to take possession of the land and to cross the Jordan and enter into His promises (To see how the Lord has already been moving, read My Journey: First Fruits of Spring).
Since the Lord told me to move forward, I have met with anyone who can offer me wisdom. I have spent
countless hours praying into every aspect of this dream. I have been collecting information, looking into different options and figuring out what steps I need to take in order to make this dream a reality. My initial steps have been planned:
1.1. Obtain Nicaraguan residency.
2. 2. Register with Mi Familia to become a foster care
home.
3.3. Buy land.
4. Build a home.
I have been making arrangements to
get all of the necessary paperwork for residency when I am in the States in
July. I should be able to file for residency in August or, at latest, September. Once I have my paperwork ready to file (which is no small undertaking I assure you), I will go ahead a schedule a meeting with my regional Mi Familia office in Chinandega. I have been told that they are able to help push my residency through more quickly if I have met with them and they would like to accept me as a foster care provider.
I have also found land that I would like to buy! Some friends of mine from our church here in Candelaria told me about land for sale that they thought might fit my needs (standing at the entrance to the new land development-pictured left). I began praying that the Lord would speak to me and confirm whether this is the land that He wants as the site of my home. After a few days in prayer, I rode my bike out to see the land...
It's perfect!! (The empty plot of land I hope to buy- pictured above.) This land is in a perfect location; it is in the middle of everything that is a regular part of my life. It's closer to town, but only a 7-8 minute bike ride from the New Song base. Far enough away for me to be able to set some healthy boundaries in order to make my children my first priority, but close enough to continue my relationships in Candelaria and my work with New Song (although I am empowering locals to take on many of my current responsibilities). It's in a quieter neighborhood. On clear days, there is a beautiful view of San Cristobal from the front of my house (the view from the front of the property; you can see the volcano just peeking through the clouds). There are parks only three blocks away both to the north and the south. My kids could walk to school in five minutes. The price is reasonable. I absolutely love it!! I felt such peace as I walked around the land. I really believe that this is the land that the Lord has for me.
However, I need YOUR help! The land is being sold in rectangular plots that measure 8 meters by 20 meters. I would like to buy two plots side-by-side so that I can build a home large enough for the children that the Lord is going to send me. It will cost $3000 to buy two plots of land. I need to move without delay before the land is sold or the prices are raised. Land is selling quickly in this area so I am hoping to purchase the land before the end of May.
If you would like to help me purchase land for my future children's home, I am asking that all donations be sent to my parents' house. I know that this is less convenient than being able to pay online, but it's the only way that I will be able to receive a large sum of cash here in Nicaragua immediately. You can make checks payable to Lisa Smith and you can mail all donations to:
Rick & Margie Smith
128 Peters Drive
Beckley, WV 25801
OR
You can pay online through paypal. The email address for the account is: margieksmith@hotmail.com (It will say given to DivisionChair Smith).
Please consider partnering with me in this dream and enabling me to become a mother to the motherless. My heart's cry is for the orphaned, abandoned, neglected and abused children. I long for them to know that they are loved and delighted in. I want to build a home where they can be safe, loved, and become exactly who the Lord has created them to be. This is my passion and my dream, but I cannot do it alone. I need your help. Will you please consider partnering with me in this new adventure?
"Could all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground at all?"
As I sat in worship singing these words by Gungor, my heart immediately went to the broken families that I am surrounded by in this community. Addiction and abuse are such strongholds in this place. Brokenness permeates homes and families.
I have heard countless stories of atrocities committed within families and relationships. I have held women in my arms as they sob and recount stories of childhood rape. I have stood beside numerous women as they tell me, without the slightest emotion, how their boyfriend or husband becomes violent when he is drunk. I have listened to stories of nightly beatings, a woman being burned across her chest when her boyfriend threw hot soup at her, a young girl who slept every night for 17 years in a potato sack under her mom's bed to avoid being raped in her house, or a young pregnant teenager whose boyfriend nearly threw her through the plastic wall of their home. Domestic violence and abuse run rampant in this nation and particularly in this community.
A couple nights ago, I was walking down the street with Rosita and Gato going to visit their family. I pass by a neighbor's home where the grandmother is running towards her daughter's house screaming at the top of her lungs, machete in hand. She runs into the little tin hut, scoops up her granddaughter in her free arm, and begins shouting at her daughter's boyfriend that he will NOT lay a hand on her daughter or granddaughter. She holds the machete in her hand letting him know that if he comes near any of them, she will call the police. Rosita whispers to me, "Gema's boyfriend is drunk again. This happens a lot, but Martina doesn't let anyone mess with her family."
My gaze drifts across the street and I see another drunken father lying in the hammock in his yard. He has a 1/2 empty bottle of liquor in one hand, a machete across his chest, and his infant daughter in the other arm. He is yelling at the other men passing by, stirring up trouble. I just wondered how long it would be before his rants brought fighting and violence into his home.
A little farther down the street another drunken man was shouting at people in the streets, throwing things at them, trying to start a fight. His 5 year old daughter runs over and grabs his hand. She follows alongside him as he walks around the house, runs out into the street ranting, and returns home. You can see on her young face that feels a responsibility to protect her dad, to keep him safe. A burden that a child should never have to endure. My heart breaks to see the reality of life for these beautiful women and children.
It seems that this night in particular there are groups of drunken men on every corner. It took me a few minutes to realize the reason: today was the last payday for those working in the sugar cane fields. They received a pocketful of money and will now be without work for the next 6 months until the planting and harvest season begins again.
There are so many factors that contribute the the brokenness in this community. The depth and prevalence of it seem impossible to overcome at times. There are moments, like the other night, when my heart wonders if it's even possible to see the restoration of family here in Candelaria. I sat singing, "Can all that is lost ever be found? Could a garden come up from this ground at all?" wondering the same thing in my heart. My heart, my dream in the Kingdom, my desire for ministry center around the restoration of family. I sat asking the Lord, "Is it even possible? Here in this place so full of brokenness, addiction, and abuse." And then come the very next words in the song...
"You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You"
And my heart filled with HOPE. Yes, restoration is possible because my God is a God of renewal and restoration. Change doesn't happen over night, but it can happen. I see it in the eyes of some of my youth; a real hunger for something better and a willingness to wait for it. As some of them fall completely in love with Jesus they are choosing new life. Some of them will wait for spouses who love the Lord and who love and respect them. Some of them will love their children better than they have been loved. Some of them long for transformation and are willing to work for it.
As my heart filled with this newfound hope, my spirit cried out, "This is something I'm willing to give my life to!" Linda shared a prophetic word with me a few months ago. Part of it was:
"Against that lie, against the bigness of the wound that the enemy left on a people group, I speak the name of El Shaddai [God who is all-sufficient] as a blessing over you, the child who was designed by God and raised up for this task...the calling of God on your life is deeply rooted in the name of El Shaddai. Almighty God triumphantly pits the all-sufficiency of His name against the petty wound that the enemy has magnified and amplified. He is all-sufficient for the wound, for the culture, and for the community that you have been called to, and for you, blessed child of El Shaddai."
I don't know exactly what this will mean for my life and my future. I don't know the steps to take to see this redemption come forth, but I know that it's the heart of my God. And it's something that He has planted so deeply in my heart as well. Restoration is coming and, in the Lord's grace, He is going to allow me to be a part of it. Let's see where this El Shaddai adventure leads!
Once a teacher, always a teacher... Teaching in Nuevo Amanecer 2012
Teaching in Atlanta 2007
Last month, I began teaching English in Nuevo Amanecer to some of our kids from our student sponsorship program (pictured above teaching my class). My students are just precious! This class is in addition to their regular school schedule and their families are paying a small monthly fee. This means that the students who are there have such a huge desire to learn English (Adan and Erwin two of my precious students- pictured right). It's so different in Nuevo Amanecer than in Candelaria. The kids in Candelaria are surrounded by English speakers all the time with the teams who are here. For this reason, the children in Candelaria at least understand quite a bit of English. The children in Nuevo Amanecer rarely have a chance to hear native English speakers and really don't know any English. We are definitely starting with the very basics. We have been practicing basic conversation, vocabulary, and verbs.
I stood under the tin roof of the church one sweltering Saturday afternoon watching my kids take their first exam. I hoped that they were learning, but I kept wondering if they were really understanding. I pondered whether or not these classes were making any difference. Honestly I wasn't sure. However, later that night, the mom of one of my students approached me at the church and told me, "Ramon's English grades have improved so much already! He made a 95% on his last test in school. He was so proud! His teacher told him to keep up whatever he had been doing that caused such an improvement. He told her that it was because of his new English classes with you." I felt the familiar pride filling my heart that I always felt in my classroom when I saw that my kids understood something that previously seemed impossible to them. Those light bulb moments were always my favorite part of being a teacher.
My classroom in the dirt under the tin roof of the church might look very different than my classroom in Atlanta, and yet it's surprisingly similar. I now ride my bike through a river, past the recently harvested sugar cane fields and volcanoes, and through the dirt roads to arrive at my "classroom" The atmosphere is different; my kids carry chairs from their homes or sit in the dirt. Our teaching supplies are limited to a white marker board and one marker. And yet they are just children who are longing to learn. And they are learning.
This month's highlights will be short because I was out of the country for the first 1/2 of the month. Here are a few highlights from the rest of the month:
I made it back to Nicaragua just in time for the one-year anniversary of Anthony's death. I can't believe that it's already been a year. (To read more of this story, read: drowning and closure). I still miss him so much!! There hasn't been a single day that has passed this year that I haven't thought about and missed him. We had an event remembering Anthony's life and honoring his family. It was great time sharing stories of his life and joy (for more stories, read: Remembering Anthony), Whitney and Jovanny performed a dance (pictured left- Whitney and Jovanny dancing), Diego shared a spoken word about Anthony's life, and we had a special dinner for his family (pictured below right- eating dinner with Anthony's family and friends). The youth worked so hard to plan, to cook, and to reach out to Anthony's family. It was a wonderful time laughing and crying together. We needed time to just be together and remember sweet Anthony's life and celebrate his new life in eternity with Jesus. It also allowed the church to reach out in love to Cruz and the rest of the family. Anthony was the only one in his family who was a part of our church. We really wanted to have some time to reach out in the Lord's love and embrace Anthony's family and let them know that we support them and want to continue walk with them through their grief process. Please continue to pray healing over Anthony's family.
I have been really excited that Pastor Alex has agreed to continue helping with our Sunday school program. He has been overseeing the program for me the last couple of times that I have been out of the country. He has such a heart and gift for teaching the scriptures. The teachers are really enjoying working with Alex and learning from his teachings (Alex pictured left teaching the Sunday school teachers during our Friday morning meetings). I have been praying (as the Lord has been opening doors for my long-term dreams) that the Lord will raise up people who can take on some of my current responsibilities. After returning from Spain, I wanted to ask Alex if he would consider working with Sunday school on a continuous basis. Before I could even ask him, he came and asked me if he could continue working with the Sunday school program because he enjoyed it so much. Thank You Jesus that You are at work in people's hearts raising them up to take on some of my current work. I am feeling so much peace about being able to slowly turn over the Sunday school program to be completely in Nicaraguan hands. Right now I have wonderful teachers (all Nicaraguan youth) and, thanks to Alex, an incredible Nicaraguan co-leader. I believe that soon this program will be completely in their hands and run so well (Pictured above right- one of my teachers, Teresa, with her class).
I'm so glad that Jasmina and sweet Katalin Adaya are now living back in Candelaria. One of my first days back in Nicaragua someone knocked on my door and said, "A girl, a little boy, and a baby are looking for you." I was so confused as to who that would be at 8:00 in the morning, but I received the best surprise when I opened my door and there stood Jasmina with Katalin in her arms and Elvin her younger brother with them. I was so excited to see them and to have a little bit of time holding my sweet girl in my arms. Jasmina needed to talk to Diego. While they were still talking, Katalin started getting fussy. I started playing with her lifting her above my head (Katalin and me playing- pictured left) and then she started to giggle with the most precious laughter. I love getting to make this beautiful girl laugh!! I always treasure my time with Katalin. I held her. I prayed over her. I made her laugh. I fed her. And most of all, I just loved her. I am so thankful for the relationships that the Lord has allowed me to build with this family. They are one of my favorites!
This month I taught the youth about the Holy Spirit. I have been wanting to see them dive into more of the Spirit for awhile and it was finally time that the Lord was telling me to speak. I loved getting to teach the kids about the fullness of living in the Spirit. We talked a lot about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives and what He gives us access to as we invite Him to fill our lives. After the teaching, we had a time of prayer and ministry to pray over the youth that wanted more in the Spirit (praying over the youth pictured right- I know picture quality isn't great). I invited them to come. At first no one came. My first instinct was to go to them, to seek them out, to pray over them. But the Lord told me not to move. He told me that He would fill them completely when their desire for Him was greater than their embarrassment to come forward. So I waited. A few kids started come. I saw on Gato's face that he felt the Lord touching his heart and wanted to come. I began to pray for courage for him. After a few minutes I see him begin to move forward and then plop down at Diego's feet asking for prayer. My heart exploded with joy and I just began to laugh! I love to see my kids desire the Lord and seeking after Him for He says, "You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all of your heart."
One afternoon Ryan and Allegra (from the Passport team) asked if I would go visiting with them, Rosa, and Coni so that I could be their translator. At the last house that we visited, we were able to pray over Julissa and see the Lord heal her! (Praying over Julissa- pictured left) It was glorious seeing the Lord move in response to our prayers, but the situation was also heartbreaking as I learned that Julissa and her five siblings had been recently abandoned by their mom. To read the full story, read: Prayers, Healing, Heartbreak and Dreams.
Amy and Haille (from the Passport team) decided to come to Candelaria on their day off so that they could go with me to visit some of my precious neighbors. I enjoy getting to take people to meet my loves. The three of us had a great time visiting houses, playing with beautiful children and just loving people with the Lord's love. I took them first to visit Jayson's family. We had a great time hanging out with the family, making the kids laugh, and spending lots of time just loving on Dalila and Victor (hammock cuddle time with Victor pictured above right). We had a great time with their family before heading to the Corner House to visit with Jasmina and Katalin Adaya. The girls loved getting to hold sweet Katalin and I, of course, love showing her off! It made my heart melt because Jasmina and her dad kept talking about me as Katalin's godmother (holding Katalin pictured left). I just love being a part of this family's life! I love spending my afternoons seated on the hammock or on a bucket (being used as a chair) just hanging out and laughing with the family and holding Katalin Adaya in my arms. This was just the sweetest afternoon!
We were blessed to have an AIM Passport team working with us for a
few weeks this month (pictured left- Passport Team and New Song staff). They are an incredible group of young people! I
have really enjoyed their life, joy, and servants' hearts as they have
worked alongside us for the past few weeks. They have led worship, taught art classes, interceded for the mission and families in our community, and visited homes throughout Candelaria. I have thoroughly enjoyed working with them, sharing our hearts, and seeing how the Lord is transforming their lives and calling them to more in Him.
Bonus Photos: I spent the first half of April galavanting around Spain with my best friend, Steph Davis. We had the best time adventuring in Madrid, Barcelona, and Mijas. I love Spain!! It was really a perfect couple of weeks. Below are a few photos from our weeks together.
Pictured left: Eating world famous chocolate and churros in Madrid
This is something that people don't tell you about missions very often, but you need to have tough skin. Tough skin and a really soft heart.
One of my precious teenage girls came up to me after our youth activity. She wanted to talk about things that have been going on in her life. She just started opening her heart. She talked to me about the hatred that she has held in her heart towards her mom since her mom abandoned her when she was just a baby. She told me that the Lord had been speaking to her about the need to forgive her mom. The Lord told her it is the only way that she can arrive at deeper level of freedom in her relationship with Him. She desires more and more of the Lord so she wants to forgive her mom, but she just can't. Last week her dad beat her again. She is still carrying the bruises on her backside. She wants to walk in healing and wholeness, but she doesn't know how to let go of all the anger that she feels inside. She poured out her heart, all the things that she had been holding inside. She was entrusting me with her deep hurts and shame. During the entire time that she talked, she didn't shed a single tear.
She finished sharing everything that had been hidden within her heart and then she looks right at me and says, "I feel like you've changed in a some really terrible ways." Ha. Not what I was expecting to hear at the end of our heartfelt conversation.
So, I just laughed and responded, "Alright. Let me hear it... in what terrible ways have I changed?"
"Well you've um... you've... well you've just changed in a terrible way. You say you love me, but I don't even know if you mean it anymore."
I just laughed again. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead and said, "You know I love you. I always love you. You know that."
We talked some more about what the Lord is doing in her heart. We talked about her plans to go and visit her mom and offer forgiveness to her next month. I spoke some truth over her heart. We talked until it was time for her to go home. When she left for the night I hugged her and told her again that I love her to which she responds. "Yeah, ok. Whatever." And then walks home.
I know that she didn't mean any of the words that she said about me. She loves me and she knows that she is loved by me. She's just a kid who is hurting. Her life often feels out of control. She has a lot of anger building up inside of her and she needs a place to let it out. And I'm a safe place. She knows that my love for her isn't going to change no matter what she says or does. I'm learning to develop tough skin as I become a safe outlet for my kids' hurts and frustrations, but maintain a soft heart so that I can enter in to their pain with them and love them in the midst of it. I'd like to say that it's easy and I can always love them well. But that's just not true. Some days it's really difficult. Sometimes my emotions want to flair up when they lash out at me. Sometimes the need for affirmation rises up in my heart. But mostly I've found how to get what I need from Jesus. In that way, I am free to love them when they love me back and when they lash out because they need to know unconditional love.
And just so that I know that she still loves me, my sweet friend snuck over to my house this morning and washed my bike for me before I woke up.
Yesterday afternoon I set out walking through the dirt roads of Candelaria with Rosa, Coni, and Allegra and Ryan from AIM's Passport team that has been working with us the last few weeks. We were going out in the village to visit families and pray with people. I hadn't intended to go, but they needed a translator so I went...
Our last stop of the afternoon was to visit Ingracia, one of the sweet widows from our church (She is pictured right in front of her home). As we approached the house, I saw that there were several children running around the yard. Ingracia just looked tired. As we were talking with her, I discovered that her daughter had recently abandoned her six young children leaving them in Ingracia's care. She had been the sole caregiver for these children for nearly seven months. She is exhausted and unsure how to provide her grandchildren with all that they need. Ingracia's daughter is still living in Candelaria only a few blocks away from her children and yet she barely even sees them. My heart just broke for these precious little ones!
Then Ingracia tells us that Julissa, the oldest daughter, was very ill. She had pain in her stomach and was running a super high fever. They had an appointment to see the doctor the following day, but she was in great pain at the moment. Her body was radiating heat. Julissa was just lying on the bed enveloped in the heat of their tiny tin home. I climbed on to the bed beside Julissa and just began talking with her. Then I asked her if we could pray for her. Ryan, Allegra, and I placed our hands on her and began to pray for healing (praying healing over Julissa- pictured left). We cried out to the Lord on her behalf. As we were praying, I saw Julissa start to sweat profusely. Then I felt her fever drop. The Lord touched her. He answered our prayers. He broke her fever. I told Julissa that the Lord was healing her. A huge smile spread across her face and told me that she knew that the Lord had taken away her fever.
It is miraculous and beautiful to see the Lord work in this way! I love to see the outpouring of His Spirit! I love to glimpse His glory through healings and miracles, but at the same this afternoon sitting in this family's small home my heart was breaking. And I didn't want the miraculous to blind my eyes from seeing the heartbreaking side of this story. I thought about precious Julissa lying in bed sick and without her mom. I am 28 years old. I'm a grown woman and hve been living apart from my family for a decade now. And yet, when I'm sick, I still want my momma. I also know, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I needed her she would be on the next flight to Nicaragua (in fact she offered to fly here if I needed her the last time I was sick). And here is a child whose mom is only a few blocks away and yet she's chosen to be absent from her daughter's life. It's a story that is all too common. My heart ached for this beautiful girl. I longed to wrap my arms around her and tell her that she is loved.
The Lord was using this time to show me why I need to move forward in my dreams for a children's home. It seems to me that most people who end up caring for children overseas do so because there were specific children who needed someone to take care of them and so, for the sake of that specific child, they jumped into parenting. My situation is different. The Lord placed this dream in my heart almost five years ago. I'm not doing it for any specific child. I'm doing it because the Lord loves His children and He has placed in my heart a desire to mother children who don't have family. Sometimes, because this dream isn't for a specific child, I forget the urgency of it. It often times gets set on the back burner and overlooked in the seeming importance of daily ministry tasks. However, as I looked into the eyes of these precious children who have been abandoned into the care of an elderly grandma who is really struggling to take care of them, I could see clearly. Even though I don't yet know the names of the children that the Lord will bring to me, it is still an urgent need. These children are already out there. They are in need of the Lord's love. They are in need of family. The time is now. I need to move forward into this dream.
Recently I was incredibly blessed to take a two-week vacation in Spain with my best friend, Steph (thanks to our fire insurance money from my parents' house fire last April). We ran around Madrid and Barcelona taking in all of the sights, visiting art museums, eating tons of delicious tapas, laughing and talking together, and living in our own little literary tourist world (pictured right in El Parque de Buen Retiro in Madrid). It was a dream come true. The entire trip was amazingly refreshing to my heart and of course so much fun to be with my best friend again (she's been living and working in Cambodia for the last 1 1/2 years so we don't get to see one another much). Thank you Jesus for this wonderful gift! We finished out our trip to Spain visiting some of our World Race sisters who are working for G42 Leadership Academy in the south of Spain (Mijas, the gorgeous city where G42 is located, pictured left). I loved sitting in on their classes, hearing Andrew Shearman teach, catching up with my F-squad girls and other friends, meeting the interns, and just being a part of community there.
One morning during class Andrew invited me to share for a few minutes. Andrew had been teaching the day before about harvest and how the Lord longs for us to join in His harvest. I had been thinking a lot about the beauty of committing to a place and a people. Of not only becoming a part of His harvest, but committing to harvest in a particular place amongst a particular people. There is something deeply beautiful about that.
There is something so beautiful about being in a place long enough to not only see people come to know the Lord, but to walk alongside them as they fall in love with Him and learn to walk with Him in daily ways. Yes, I loved being here to see some of my kids come to know the Lord for the first time. I was here when Anthony accepted Jesus. I was here when he was baptized (pictured right- Anthony's baptism in August 2008). I loved being here for all of that. It was glorious!! Being here during that time of revival and outpouring captured my heart for all that the Lord is doing in Candelaria. It made me want to return and walk with these beautiful teens as the Lord continued His work in their lives.
There is something so incredible about planting yourself in another culture or place. Of committing to be a part of life there, to walk alongside people as they learn to walk with the Lord. It's amazing to not only be a part of Kingdom harvest, but to also be somewhere long enough to see those that you've led to the Lord become harvesters themselves. It's beginning to happen here in Candelaria. The youth that I have been discipling are beginning to put their hands to the plow and dive into Kingdom ministries of their own. Just in the last couple of months we have had sent Emerson out as a missionary to Honduras to work with street kids (pictured above left Emerson leading the way with some of the youth in Honduras), seen Joel and some of the youth join together to help children in need, watched Cristhian step up in leadership of worship in the church, seen Rosita and Gema begin ministering to women in the villages of Candelaria and Santa Matilde (sweet time of prayer and worship for the women's ministry pictured right), and watched as Jovanny has started teaching English classes with me to the children in Nuevo Amanecer.
Yes, there is a glorious beauty in sudden a miraculous transformation or in being the first to tell someone that they are loved by the Lord. It's glorious and exciting. But I believe that my heart prefers the deep beauty of commitment, of discipleship, of diving into life together learning to love the Lord in deeper ways and to build His Kingdom together.
My friend Whitney told me a few weeks ago that she had a vision of the two of us one morning during worship (Whit and I pictured right). In this vision, we were both seated on stools each of us in front of a canvas. She was sitting on her stool painting this canvas; it was a canvas of her life. She would be sitting there and get inspired and start painting like crazy getting more and more excited about what was developing. As she filled up the canvas, she would throw it up to the Lord and He would tweak and change it how He wanted and then send it back to her. She would see that He had made it even more beautiful and would be filled with unspeakable joy, laughing and rejoicing in all that He wants to do in her dreams and visions. This is how she operates. She is a visionary, but has learned to throw these visions to the Lord and allow Him to remake them in the way that He wants.
Then Whit looks over and sees me just sitting on my stool. I am sitting back just resting in the Lord's presence. I wasn't painting anything. The Lord Himself was filling my canvas in the way that He wanted. I was just watching Him paint the canvas of my life and exclaiming, "Yes. Yes! I love it!!" I realized that during this past year I have become this person. I know that I shared some of this in a previous blog post (read My Journey: Abundance in the Hard Places), but this past year has brought me to such a place of dependence upon and trust in the Lord. I have encountered such deep wells of His presence and peace. I know that I have come to a place of living in complete surrender ready to allow the Lord to do whatever He would like in my life.
I have seen the truth of Whitney's vision so much as He has been putting together my long-term dreams. I find myself constantly surprised at what He is doing and the way that He is just dropping things in my lap. He is painting every detail of this dream as I just sit back trusting Him and feeling my heart fill with joy and exclaim, "Yes. I love it!" The Lord is giving me vision for this dream as well as connecting me with people who can help make it a reality.
The Lord has been connecting me with so many people who can give me wisdom and help at different steps of the process. He is sending people who want to partner with me. I have been praying into raising up people to take on some of my current tasks. As I begin to see someone who could be raised up for a specific task and decide to ask them to come and help me as I begin to raise them up into leadership, they come to me first and tell me that they want to help. The Lord is painting. He is ordering my steps and filling in each beautiful detail. All I can do is exclaim, "Yes! I love it!!" Thank You Father for your beautiful plan and Your faithfulness in bringing it to pass.
This month I was able to complete my home visits in Santa Matilde. I have been working for an entire year doing home visits in our outreach villages and compiling bios for each of the 300 children in our school sponsorship program. I have really enjoyed getting into the homes, meeting the families, hearing their stories and dreams for the future (I love visiting sweet children like Brian and his momma- pictured left). It's been a lot of work, but I have loved it! I have now finished home visits in all four of our villages as well as the student bios. I know that there are still many things that I would like to do in order to enhance our sponsorship program, but I am so elated to have crossed this first major hurdle. Praise Jesus!!!
Whit and I celebrated International Women's Day by having a sleepover with some of our favorite girls. We had the BEST time together!! The girls decided that everyone would bring one food item so that we could make dinner together. We started the evening cooking a Nicaraguan dinner (Gema and I pictured right peeling plantains to make maduras) which consisted of gallo pinto, Nicaraguan cheese, maduros (sweet fried platains), tortilla chips, and torta de carne We cooked and ate together, laughed a lot, and danced for hours (The girls pictured below left dancing and laughing together). These girls LOVE to dance to any and every kind of music! They also wanted to spend some time in worship and prayer together. I love to see them seeking the Lord and seeing how their hearts are being captured for Him. They called everyone together and began to worship and enter in to the presence of God. Afterwards, they were praying together that the youth and the church as a whole would really give their entire lives and hearts to the Lord! These are such beautiful young women and I am so blessed to share my life with them!!
We were blessed to have a great team of World Racers here with us this month, Ruah Elohim. This team is really hilarious! They have the most distinct personalities! Unfortunately Nicaragua was a shorter month for them and we only had them here in Candelaria for 2 1/2 weeks. They have done a wonderful job working with the youth: teaching on Wednesday nights and planning our Friday night activities. They have also been helping to teach Sunday school in Nuevo Amanecer and visiting families in Candelaria. The girls have been working with Whitney going to visit the women in Santa Matilde (Kathryn, Lydia, Liz, & Ada pictured right with some of the kids in Santa Matilde). I have really enjoyed our time working with these wonderful folks! They have such beautiful hearts. They even threw us an awesome party on our last night all together complete with brownies, cake, awkward family photos, and lots of dancing. (Unfortunately something happened to some of my picture files and I lost all of my pictures of the whole team together.)
I was able to sneak down to Granada on my days off as the World Race squad was there debriefing before heading to their Nicaraguan ministry sites. I have been so anxious for this particular squad to make it to Nicaragua because my friend Lindsay Dobner is leading their squad (Linds and I pictured left together in Granada). She lived with me my first five months in Candelaria and has become one of my best friends in the entire world. I have missed having her in my daily life! I didn't know if I would get to spend much time with Linds since she has so many responsibilities with her squad, but the Lord just blessed my heart so much letting Linds and I have an entire afternoon just the two of us. We went to lunch at Garden Cafe and then out for coffee. We talked for hours about life, what the Lord has been speaking to us, and how He has been moving in our dreams. It was just such a good time with her!! Then the Lord blessed me even more and Linds was able to come to Candelaria for an entire week!! It has been SO good to have her back here. We have been hanging out in the evenings having sleepovers and talking about all that the Lord is doing in and through each of us. I took her to visit Anthony's grave so that she could grieve that loss since this is the first time that she's been back to Candelaria since his death. We have also been able to just spend time with the youth together (Linds and I pictured right visiting the girls at the Garcia house) It's been great to hang out with her and minister with her again. I have really enjoyed this week together and am thankful that the other squad leaders allowed her to have that time. It has been such a blessing!
I started teaching English classes in our outreach village of Nuevo Amanecer this month (pictured left teaching my class in Nuevo Amanecer). Some of the parents had asked if I could come to the church and teach English classes because many of their children would begin studying English this year and really needed extra help. My Saturdays finally freed up as I finished all of our Adopt-a-Student home visits which allowed me to begin English classes every Saturday afternoon. The kids are so excited to be taking these classes. I love biking over to the village. I love seeing the kids' enthusiasm to learn this new language. I love to hear their laughter as they attempt to say different words in English. I'm trying to push them to practice their conversational skills more (we definitely still have A LOT of work to do in that area). School mostly teach through rote memorization and so they kids do great repeating words back to me, but struggle to respond to even basic English questions. Jovanny has volunteered to help me with the class each week and to run conversational review classes anytime I am unavailable or out of the country (Jovanny pictured right helping with conversation practice). I'm so excited to see him step in and help with these classes!! He has done a great job so far challenging the kids in their conversational practice and helping improve their pronunciation. He is going to be a huge help to me in this new endeavor.
Two years ago when I first move to Nica, Linds and I started forming friendships with the boys that work selling necklaces and such at the beach. We would hang out with them, talk and joke together, and often sneak them some of our dinner. We always visit the same beach so we have been able to build consistent relationships with the staff and the kids that work in the area. It's one of my favorite parts of going to the beach. There are two teenage boys who always come and seek me out just to talk and hang out. I sit with them on the beach each time I'm there visiting talking about their lives, school, dreams, etc. This month I was able to spend a lot of time just talking and hanging out with them. They are always asking me to buy some of their jewelry and I've promised that if I leave Nicaragua, I will buy necklaces from them before I leave. The last time I was at the beach, Wilbur (the one with the striped shirt) asked if he could listen to my ipod. Both of the boys spent so much time listening and singing along. They decided that they really love to come and listen to Michael Jackson... haha (the boys pictured above left listening to and singing Michael Jackson songs). After I let Wilbur listen to my ipod for about an hour, he handed me a necklace and told me that it was his gift to me (Linds and I pictured above right with our necklaces from the boys). I love building these relationships!
We have been blessed to have Joey visiting with us the last couple of months. He had planned to come for just two weeks and then arrived in Candelaria and decided that two weeks was just too short! He ended up staying almost 2 months and is praying about returning to Nicaragua (Joey pictured left with Whit and me). Joey could be such an asset here. He has a heart for worship and loves people deeply. He is constantly talking to everyone he sees and pouring out the Lord's love to them. He has helped to lead worship with our staff and with the youth. He built relationships with so many of the youth guys, children, and families in the community (pictured right with Emerson). He also has a desire to live a life of integrity and to see the youth walking in increasing holiness. His last night in Candelaria he, along with one of the World Race girls, taught our Wednesday night youth group. He really challenged the youth to begin demonstrating the Lord's love by loving and forgiving one another. Please be praying for Joey as he has returned to Florida. Pray for his transition home. Also, pray for him as he seeks the Lord's direction and wisdom about timing and decisions for returning to Nicaragua.
This month I have spent so much time playing with my kiddos in the
neighborhood. Their favorite game is for me to just chase them around
the church and then tickle them once I catch them.
I'm not sure why they love it so much, but they do! That's what they
ALWAYS ask to play. Playing with my beautiful neighbors and hearing
their laughter just fills up my heart so much (Sweet Makeyling, Julissa, and Franco pictured right)!
They restore my joy!! It's been good to have so much time to play with
them this month. These are the kids who would always come with Jayson to
play with me every day. After his death, they didn't come around much.
Just this month, they have started coming back and asking to play again.
I had really missed my sweet afternoons running around with them.
I had the best surprise this month when Jasmina and Katalin came back to Candelaria to visit since they have been living in another village near San Cristobal for the past two months. I have missed them SO much!! I have been hoping to see them again soon. I was in Sunday school and Jasmina walks in with sweet Katalin Adaya in her arms. She came looking for me so I could spend time with them both. It was such a gift to my heart!! I got to spend mostly the entire afternoon cradling sweet Katalin Adaya in my arms (pictured right with baby Katalin) and chatting with Jasmina. Katalin has grown so much in the past two months! I loved having the whole afternoon with my girls!! I am praying that they will be able to return to Candelaria soon. Jasmina told me that they might be returning as soon as mid-April. Hopefully so. I want to spend more afternoons with this beautiful baby girl!
Every Sunday morning our property is filled with the laughter and joy of nearly 200 children (ages 2-15) coming down to the church for our Sunday school program. The majority of these children come to the church faithfully every week even though their parents are not members. We sing songs to the Lord, laugh, dance, and play together, and teach stories from the Word each week. (Some of the children playing games during Sunday school pictured right) This is a place for the children to come where they feel loved and accepted. They are learning that the Lord loves them and how to love others in return. I love to be a part of this program! It's really one of my favorite things to do. I love getting to know more and more of the children in the community, getting to pour out His love to them, and being a surrogate momma for so many beautiful children (like sweet Carodin pictured left). I spend every week greeting the children, hugging them, telling them that Jesus loves them, and hearing about their lives. They just fill my heart with joy!!
My role in the Sunday school program is working as a director. I am blessed to work with an amazing group of teachers who are all from within the youth that I have been discipling for the last two years. These teenagers continually amaze me! They have such a love for their students, are becoming more responsible, do a great job teaching classes and leading the entire Sunday school program, and are getting involved in the children's lives outside of the church. I love seeing them give back after they have been poured into! It's such a beautiful thing! (Rosita pictured right teaching her class) I am so proud of them! My role is to search out curriculum for our Sunday school program, meet with the Sunday school teachers each Friday morning to teach them the stories and help them develop questions and teaching strategies, and am a part of the Sunday school program each Sunday morning to observe and oversee all that is happening. The youth completely run the program; I just come alongside them and support them.
I have been searching out curriculum for our Sunday school program. I found a new curriculum that I love! There is a book called The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name. It goes through the entire story of God from Genesis to Revelation showing how each story points to Jesus. The book comes in Spanish, is written for children, and beautifully illustrated. I think it would be an amazing way to teach the entire story of God with a focus of the centrality of Christ. I would really like to purchase 11 of these books (one for each of my teachers and one for myself) and begin using it for our Sunday school curriculum. Each book costs $12 and the total cost would be $132 to be able to implement this new curriculum. I have curriculum written that will carry us through July (my next visit stateside). I am hoping to be able to purchase these new books and bring it back to Nicaragua with me to begin teaching from it in August. If you would like to help me purchase this new curriculum, you can make a tax-deductible donation by clicking "Support Me!" on the left side of this page. And please leave a comment below letting me know that your donation is for Sunday school curriculum.
I have also found land that I would like to buy!
view of San Cristobal from the front of my house (
mother to the motherless. My heart's cry is for the orphaned, abandoned, neglected and abused children. I long for them to know that they are loved and delighted in. I want to build a home where they can be safe, loved, and become exactly who the Lord has created them to be. This is my passion and my dream, but I cannot do it alone. I need your help. Will you please consider partnering with me in this new adventure? 
held women in my arms as they sob and recount stories of childhood rape. I have stood beside numerous women as they tell me, without the slightest emotion, how their boyfriend or husband becomes violent when he is drunk. I have listened to stories of nightly beatings, a woman being burned across her chest when her boyfriend threw hot soup at her, a young girl who slept every night for 17 years in a potato sack under her mom's bed to avoid being raped in her house, or a young pregnant teenager whose boyfriend nearly threw her through the plastic wall of their home. Domestic violence and abuse run rampant in this nation and particularly in this community. 
the sugar cane fields. They received a pocketful of money and will now be without work for the next 6 months until the planting and harvest season begins again.
who are there have such a huge desire to learn English (
take their first exam. I hoped that they were learning, but I kept wondering if they were really understanding. I pondered whether or not these classes were making any difference. Honestly I wasn't sure. 
can't believe that it's already been a year. (To read more of this story, read: 
It also allowed the church to reach out in love to Cruz and the rest of the family. Anthony was the only one in his family who was a part of our church. We really wanted to have some time to reach out in the Lord's love and embrace Anthony's family and let them know that we support them and want to continue walk with them through their grief process. Please continue to pray healing over Anthony's family. 
have been out of the country. He has such a heart and gift for teaching the scriptures. The teachers are really enjoying working with Alex and learning from his teachings (
in people's hearts raising them up to take on some of my current work. I am feeling so much peace about being able to slowly turn over the Sunday school program to be completely in Nicaraguan hands. Right now I have wonderful teachers (all Nicaraguan youth) and, thanks to Alex, an incredible Nicaraguan co-leader. I believe that soon this program will be completely in their hands and run so well (
my first days back in Nicaragua someone knocked on my door and said, 
loved getting to teach the kids about the fullness of living in the Spirit. We talked a lot about the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives and what He gives us access to as we invite Him to fill our lives. After the teaching, we had a time of prayer and ministry to pray over the youth that wanted more in the Spirit (
them, Rosa, and Coni so that I could be their translator. At the last house that we visited, we were able to pray over Julissa and see the Lord heal her! (
people to meet my loves. The three of us had a great time visiting houses, playing with beautiful children and just loving people with the Lord's love. I took them first to visit Jayson's family. We had a great time hanging out with the family, making the kids laugh, and spending lots of time just loving on Dalila and Victor (
Katalin and I, of course, love showing her off! It made my heart melt because Jasmina and her dad kept talking about me as Katalin's godmother (
people! I
have really enjoyed their life, joy, and servants' hearts as they have
worked alongside us for the past few weeks. They have led worship, taught art classes, interceded for the mission and families in our community, and visited homes throughout Candelaria. I have thoroughly enjoyed working with them, sharing our hearts, and seeing how the Lord is transforming their lives and calling them to more in Him. 
She just started opening her heart. She talked to me about the hatred that she has held in her heart towards her mom since her mom abandoned her when she was just a baby. She told me that the Lord had been speaking to her about the need to forgive her mom. The Lord told her it is the only way that she can arrive at deeper level of freedom in her relationship with Him. She desires more and more of the Lord so she wants to forgive her mom, but she just can't. Last week her dad beat her again. She is still carrying the bruises on her backside. She wants to walk in healing and wholeness, but she doesn't know how to let go of all the anger that she feels inside. She poured out her heart, all the things that she had been holding inside. She was entrusting me with her deep hurts and shame. During the entire time that she talked, she didn't shed a single tear.
heart. We talked until it was time for her to go home. When she left for the night I hugged her and told her again that I love her to which she responds. 
Steph (thanks to our fire insurance money from my parents' house fire last April). We ran around Madrid and Barcelona taking in all of the sights, visiting art museums, eating tons of delicious tapas, laughing and talking together, and living in our own little literary tourist world (
We finished out our trip to Spain visiting some of our World Race sisters who are working for 
come to know the Lord, but to walk alongside them as they fall in love with Him and learn to walk with Him in daily ways. Yes, I loved being here to see some of my kids come to know the Lord for the first time. I was here when Anthony accepted Jesus. I was here when he was baptized (
Of committing to be a part of life there, to walk alongside people as they learn to walk with the Lord. It's amazing to not only be a part of Kingdom harvest, but to also be somewhere long enough to see those that you've led to the Lord become harvesters themselves. It's beginning to happen here in Candelaria. The youth that I have been discipling are beginning to put their hands to the plow and dive into Kingdom ministries of their own. Just in the last couple of months we have had sent 
seen 
us in front of a canvas. She was sitting on her stool painting this canvas; it was a canvas of her life. She would be sitting there and get inspired and start painting like crazy getting more and more excited about what was developing. As she filled up the canvas, she would throw it up to the Lord and He would tweak and change it how He wanted and then send it back to her. She would see that He had made it even more beautiful and would be filled with unspeakable joy, laughing and rejoicing in all that He wants to do in her dreams and visions. This is how she operates. She is a visionary, but has learned to throw these visions to the Lord and allow Him to remake them in the way that He wants. 
trusting Him and feeling my heart fill with joy and exclaim, 
entire year doing home visits in our outreach villages and compiling bios for each of the 300 children in our school sponsorship program. I have really enjoyed getting into the homes, meeting the families, hearing their stories and dreams for the future (
favorite girls. We had the BEST time together!! The girls decided that everyone would bring one food item so that we could make dinner together. We started the evening cooking a Nicaraguan dinner (
also wanted to spend some time in worship and prayer together. I love to see them seeking the Lord and seeing how their hearts are being captured for Him. They called everyone together and began to worship and enter in to the presence of God. Afterwards, they were praying together that the youth and the church as a whole would really give their entire lives and hearts to the Lord! These are such beautiful young women and I am so blessed to share my life with them!! 
Elohim. This team is really hilarious! They have the most distinct personalities! Unfortunately Nicaragua was a shorter month for them and we only had them here in Candelaria for 2 1/2 weeks. They have done a wonderful job working with the youth: teaching on Wednesday nights and planning our Friday night activities. They have also been helping to teach Sunday school in Nuevo Amanecer and visiting families in Candelaria. The girls have been working with Whitney going to visit the women in Santa Matilde (
debriefing before heading to their Nicaraguan ministry sites. I have been so anxious for this particular squad to make it to Nicaragua because my friend Lindsay Dobner is leading their squad (
of us. We went to lunch at Garden Cafe and then out for coffee. We talked for hours about life, what the Lord has been speaking to us, and how He has been moving in our dreams. It was just such a good time with her!! 
I started teaching English classes in our outreach village of Nuevo Amanecer this month (
mostly teach through rote memorization and so they kids do great repeating words back to me, but struggle to respond to even basic English questions. Jovanny has volunteered to help me with the class each week and to run conversational review classes anytime I am unavailable or out of the country (
joke together, and often sneak them some of our dinner. We always visit the same beach so we have been able to build consistent relationships with the staff and the kids that work in the area. It's one of my favorite parts of going to the beach. There are two teenage boys who always come and seek me out just to talk and hang out. I sit with them on the beach each time I'm there visiting talking about their lives, school, dreams, etc. This month I was able to spend a lot of time just talking and hanging out with them. They are always asking me to buy some of their jewelry and I've promised that if I leave Nicaragua, I will buy necklaces from them before I 
leave. The last time I was at the beach, Wilbur (the one with the striped shirt) asked if he could listen to my ipod. Both of the boys spent so much time listening and singing along. They decided that they really love to come and listen to Michael Jackson... haha (
to come for just two weeks and then arrived in Candelaria and decided that two weeks was just too short! He ended up staying almost 2 months and is praying about returning to Nicaragua (
community (
them.
I'm not sure why they love it so much, but they do! That's what they
ALWAYS ask to play. Playing with my beautiful neighbors and hearing
their laughter just fills up my heart so much (
have missed them SO much!! I have been hoping to see them again soon. I was in Sunday school and Jasmina walks in with sweet Katalin Adaya in her arms. She came looking for me so I could spend time with them both. It was such a gift to my heart!! I got to spend mostly the entire afternoon cradling sweet Katalin Adaya in my arms (
children come to the church faithfully every week even though their parents are not members. We sing songs to the Lord, laugh, dance, and play together, and teach stories from the Word each week. (
many beautiful children (
are getting involved in the children's lives outside of the church. I love seeing them give back after they have been poured into! It's such a beautiful thing! (