Monday night around midnight my phone started ringing. I answered to hear Auralia sobbing into the phone telling me that Jayson had just died. (He passed away just after 11:30 p.m. on Monday January 16th). Diego helped me talk with Auralia, figure out transportation for the next day to get Jayson's body back to Candelaria, and make phone calls to people in the village until we could find someone to go and tell the family what had happened. As all the details were being discussed, I just sat on the floor with my head in Kenia's lap sobbing and grieving while she prayed for me. I knew I would not be getting back to sleep that night. I tossed and turned and cried and prayed most of the night.
The next morning I jumped on a bus and headed to the hospital to sit with Auralia until the truck could arrive to bring Jayson's body back to Candelaria. I arrived at La Mascota (the children's hospital in Managua) around 9:30 a.m. and just sat with her listening as she recounted the events of the night before and how she had been informed of Jayson's death. She was telling me how the news came as such a shock because when she had visited with him that day he seemed to be doing a little better. He was smiling at her and had squeezed her hand before she left. (Visiting with Jayson's momma in Managua last week- pictured above right).
I also felt the shock of his death. I know that he had been sick for an extended period of time, but it still felt like a shock. Honestly I believed that he would be healed here on the earth. I believed that a miracle was going to happen. I believed that I would run and play with him again at the church property. That I would hug him, swing him around, and kiss his cheek as he giggled.I really believed that I would see him healed. It was a shock to lose him.
Now, granted, my heart understands the truth that Jayson is now running in complete healing in eternity with Jesus. I feel peace knowing that he is no longer suffering, but it always hurts to lose someone that you love. My heart is heavy with the weight and grief of this loss. However, I am also thankful. Thankful that his suffering has ended. Thankful that he is with Jesus. Thankful that he is running in healing and joy. I saw Jayson just three days before his death. He looked so
frail and weak. He looked like he was suffering. As I saw him that day, I
began to ask the Lord to either heal with quickly or to carry Jayson
into eternity. My heart didn't want to see him suffer.
I sat with his momma all morning and afternoon at the hospital. We just sat and talked about Jayson's life and waited. Finally around two in the afternoon the truck arrived to take Jayson's body back to Candelaria. It took about 30 minutes to load up Jayson's body, Auralia's stuff from her extended stay, and the family and start heading home. We arrived in Candelaria around 5:00. I went straight to Jayson's house to sit with his family before the wake. Auralia told me at the hospital that they wanted to have some time with just the family before the wake started. Then she looked at me, smiled, and said, "You know, of course, that includes you. You are part of our family." A sweet gift in the midst of a heartbreaking day!
During wakes in Nicaragua everyone in the community comes to the house to be with the family. Some stay a few minutes, others a few hours, and some all night long. My heart was breaking, but I had asked the Lord give me strength to be there for his family. I sat in the backyard with them. I held his mom and his aunts in my arms as they cried on my shoulder. I prayed over them for peace and comfort. I would sit with them as long as I can. When my heart was overwhelmed with grief and hurt, I would make my way outside to where the youth were seated. They would hug me, let me cry on their shoulders and pray over me. It was such a beautiful outpouring of the Lord's love and comfort. Then, when I was able, I would go back in with the family. This cycle continued until midnight when I finally went to get some sleep. The next morning I was up early and back at Jayson's house to hang out with the family as they cooked and prepped for the funeral. The funeral began around 10 in the morning. It was heartbreaking to watch the family, especially Auralia, to grieve and to mourn the loss of sweet Jayson (the family saying their final goodbyes- pictured above left). Like I said, it's always hard to lose someone you love. But my heart rests in the peace that death does not have the final say. My Jesus has overcome the grave. We have a hope that lies in eternity. It is why my heart can say as David did is Psalm 62:5 "Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him." Although Jayson is rejoicing in glory with Jesus, his family is still hurting immensely. Thank you for the way that you all have stood with us in prayer during Jayson's illness. Please continue in prayer for comfort and peace for his entire family, especially for his momma. Also be in prayer for us as a church family.
Yesterday we loaded up 21 people (family members and Sunday school teachers) to make the trip to Managua to visit sweet Jayson and his momma. This excursion was completely planned by my Sunday school teachers (pictured right). They saw Jayson and Auralia's needs and their hearts broke. They wanted to go and visit them bringing along their family and supplies that they needed for their extended stay at the hospital. They decided to take a special offering for the family both in Sunday school and in the Sunday evening church service. The children and the church gave so generously and we had more than enough to buy all that Jayson and Auralia needed. I love to see my youth moved to compassion and to see the church function as a family.
It was so wonderful to see the reunion between Auralila and her family (family pictured below left)! She has really been fighting alone for so long there at the hospital. I think it was incredibly encouraging to her to have a day of really fighting together with her family and community. It was such a sweet reunion! The biggest blessing for Auralia was getting to see her baby girl, Griselda. Griselda is almost 8 months old and her mom has been gone for two months now. This has been one of the hardest sacrifices that Auralia had to make in order to take care of her son. It was beautiful getting to see her holding her daughter and talking and laughing with her siblings and mom. We laughed and talked together. We prayed and fought together for Jayson's life. A couple of us were able to enter in to Jayson's room and visit with him for a few minutes. As I walked into the room and made eye contact with my sweet boy, my heart dropped. He looks so much more frail and less responsive than he did when I saw him two weeks ago. His arms and legs are skin and bones while his stomach is swollen because his body is no longer producing waste like it is supposed to. A week ago he developed an infection in his blood and lungs. He has been receiving medication for this infection, but the medicine is not working. The doctors continue to say that there is no hope. We need a miraculous intervention. Please pray for God to do the impossible in Jayson's life! Jayson was awake when I saw him. He opened his eyes and looked right at me as I spoke with him. You could see him trying to smile at me as I told him about all the people that had come to see him and that we had brought him a new outfit for when he feels all better and his mom takes him home. He can't quite move his mouth into a smile, but he certainly was trying. It was so amazing to see a glimpse of his joy behind the veil of sickness and frailty! I spent some time just praying for him and speaking LIFE over him. Please keep interceding for Jayson and his family. There is nothing more the doctors can do except keep him comfortable and continue to help him breath and feed him through his feeding tube. Jayson needs the Lord to intervene in a miraculous way. Join us in asking for healing.
Rivers of Living Water is the name of our church plant in the barrio of La Isla. It's an ironic name given the fact that they live in a village where their water is literally leading to death. La Isla is another barrio of Chichigalpa and is located deep in the heart of the sugar cane fields. It is known as the "Village of Widows" because of the number of husbands and fathers who have died of renal failure. Renal failure is the #1 cause of death in our area of Nicaragua. It is due in part to the pesticides used in the sugar cane fields and partially caused because of the health choices of the locals (many will work 12-14 hour shifts in the hot sun and drink nothing except soda). However, in La Isla not only is renal failure killing people at an alarmingly high rate, but there are also a large number of people who are developing various types of cancer. Every time I enter in to this community, I am reminded of the movie Erin Brokovich.
Access to clean water could make the difference between life and death for the families living in La Isla. If the children could begin now drinking clean water, it would dramatically increase their life expectancy. Thanks to the generosity of the New London CT Rotary, twenty water filters were donated to families in the church in La Isla. For only $50 an entire family now has access to clean water. These water filters are attached to a bucket and then can be filled with contaminated water from their local wells and it filters out 99.9% of all contaminates. (Water filter assembly pictured above right) The filters come with a cleaning kit and are easy to maintain. We gathered under the tin roof of the church with the children and their parents laughing and talking as the filters were assembled. We began to sing songs with the children as we waited. I saw all of the beautiful children singing, dancing, and laughing (pictured left) and I could see their futures pass before my eyes. I could see their lives extended. I could see their health improved. I could see them dreaming for a better future. The church was so thrilled to receive this blessing. They gathered together to pray and thank the Lord for providing for this need. Then each family came forward to receive their water filter. As they came forward, their joy was shining forth. Afterward Pastor Pablo explained to each of the families how to use and to clean their water filter (pictured right). The church itself received a water filter (as a trial) in September. Families have been coming to the church to receive clean water for the last several months, but now they will be able to have clean water in their own homes. Thank you New London CT Rotary for your kindness and generosity!!
I get asked all the time "what exactly do you do at New Song?". I have some nice succinct answers that I normally rattle off:
"I run all of our programs for youth and children."
"I oversee youth discipleship and Sunday school."
"I teach small group Bible studies."
"I run a school sponsorship program for 300 kids in 4 different villages."
While all of these things are true, they don't really describe what my life is like on a daily basis. More than anything else, my ministry is relational which makes it really difficult to put into words. My ministry is full of conversations of the heart. Some are filled with heartache and pain. Others are filled with growth and the Lord's glory. This is what I love. This is where the bulk of my ministry lies.
I sat with my Nicaraguan brother. He was drunk. Drinking is something he is trying to cut from his life, but he keeps turning back. He is struggling with the Lord right now. We talked a bit (as much as you can with someone who is drunk) about the struggles he's been having lately. He asked, "Are you not mad at me?" I wasn't mad, but I certainly desire more for him. I told him that I hate to see him throwing his life away because he is capable of so much more. I told him, "I want MORE for you." He just looked away with tears in his eyes. A few days before he came to me and asked me if I would pray for him because he just felt far from the Lord. I prayed for him and will continue to do so. I listen when he wants to talk and I call him to more in the Lord.
Emerson has really been seeking the Lord ever since Anthony's death (Emerson and I pictured left). He is growing in the Lord and desiring to see the other youth grow too. He came to talk to me one night because he was concerned about some of the youth who are falling away from their walk with the Lord. His heart broke to see them turning to other things. We talked about how he can call his brothers in Christ to more. We talked about praying for them and speaking the truth in love. So many of the teenagers here have the tendency to pull one another down when one of them is doing well. It's amazingly beautiful for me to see him begin to build up his brothers in Christ and call them to walk more intimately with the Lord. I'm so proud!!
One night Rosita and I were sitting at the church and we started talking about relationships. She had recently ended things with her boyfriend. She knew that he wasn't walking with the Lord. She told me that many of the other girls in the village asked her, "Why would you break up with him? He's a nice kid." She told me that it's true that he's nice, but "he's just not what I'm waiting for..." It made my heart leap with joy! She is one of the first girls that I see really seeking the Lord for her relationships and be willing to say no to relationships that don't reflect the best that the Lord has for her. I was able to share with her the difference that it makes when you wait for someone who loves the Lord and the beauty that can be found in praying and seeking the Lord together for your relationship. She just sat silently listening and told me afterward that the things I had shared with her would stay glued in her mind. I'm so excited to see her begin to desire what the Lord desires for her relationships. As the teenagers begin to want relationships like this, we will see the restoration of marriage and family here in Candelaria.
I sat with Jasmina in her yard holding sweet Katalin in my arms (Jasmina and Katalin pictured below left). We were passing the afternoon just talking about life. At one point, we started talking about her boyfriend (Katalin's dad). She began to share about how violent he is when he is drinking (which is pretty much all the time). This isn't the first time she has shared with me in this way. Today she confessed to me that he often hits her and even hit her several times when she was pregnant. Once he hit her hard enough to knock her backward and almost push her through the plastic sheet wall of their house. I looked into her eyes and told her "Jasmina, why don't you leave him? You deserve better than this." She told me that she knows she deserves more, but it's easier to stay with him than to end things. She said if she ends things with him then he will continue to harass her in the streets or enter into her house at night. The saddest part of all of this is that Jasmina doesn't live alone. She lives with her family. They have to know what's going on and yet no one is protecting her. Her dad is the same way. Where are the men in her life to stand up and protect her? It breaks my heart that domestic violence against women is so commonplace and accepted here. As long as she chooses to stay with him, I don't know what I can do for her.
More than anything else, this is my life here. I enter in to people's lives. I pray for them. I counsel them. I tell them of the Lord's love for them. Sometimes their stories break my heart. Sometimes there is nothing that I can do except pray.
I am in need of additional support to continue doing what I do here. I am asking you to pray about partnering with me in 2012. I'm in need of an additional $350/month in order to meet my support goals for this year. (To read more about my support needs, read: Will You Join Me?) If you are willing to make a one-time or monthly donation to my ministry click "Support Me!" on the left side of this page to make a tax-deductible donation. Please consider partnering with me as I love and minister to the people of Nicaragua.
If you haven't read the first part of this story, read Fighting for LIFE.
Yesterday was Jayson's 6th birthday. His sixth birthday should be filled with parties, family and friends, birthday cake, and a pinata if you're Nicaraguan. However, Jayson's birthday is filled with hospitals, medication, respirators, feeding tubes, and infection, cancer, and pain. This is just another one of the moments that makes me realize this world is not as it should be. More and more this year, my heart has begun to long for eternity. COME LORD JESUS.
I went to visit Jayson and his momma for his birthday. I really just wanted to be with him to celebrate his life, pray for him, and tell him again that I love him. However, I wasn't able to actually see Jayson. Visiting hours didn't start until 3 p.m. and since I had to be home in time to translate for the evening women's service I wasn't able to stay long enough to see him. I'll be back to him next week when I can stay longer. I sat with Auralila (Jayson's momma) for over three hours. We talked and laughed sharing stories about Jayson. She even told me that the last time I went to see Jayson that she was talking to him afterward and asked, "Did you talk to Lisa?" Jayson nodded yes. And then she said, "You want to go to the church and play with Lisa, don't you?" And Jayson got really excited ans started nodding yes as much as he could. Oh, I can't wait until he has been healed and I can run and play with him again! I believe it will happen!
Jayson's health continues to remain about the same. His tumor has grown. He awake, but still connected to a respirator and feeding tube. He has developed an infection in his blood and lungs. Thankfully, he has now received medicine to remove the infection. The doctors continue to give little to no hope of recovery. Jayson's life is in the Lord's hands. Only a miracle of God can restore his life.
Yesterday I spent my time with Auralila. She is such a strong woman and loving mother! Auralila has been staying with Jayson at the hospital in Managua for two months now. Hospitals in Nicaragua don't really have places for families to stay. So Auralila has been sleeping outside on the sidewalk on a piece of cardboard every night for two months now (Auralila pictured right sitting on her bed). She is alone. The doctors tell her that her son is dying. She has hours and hours just sitting and thinking. It has been a difficult couple of months. She sleeps outside every night fighting against the cold and the mosquitos. She does it all because she loves her son and she wants to be with him when he needs her. The doctors continue to tell her that there is no hope. They tell her that her son will die. But Auralila is clinging to the Lord. She continues to ask Him and to believe for a miracle. Every day she talks to Jayson she tells him. "You are well. The Lord is healing you. You just need time to recuperate and then we will go home." She continues to proclaim the Lord's healing over Jayson. She is fighting in FAITH for her son's life.
The Sunday school teachers have decided to gather items that Jayson and Auralila need and take these things to them on Friday. We will be fasting and praying together and then making the trip to Managua. We will be praying with both Auralila and Jayson. We will be taking blankets, pillows, shampoo, etc. for their extended stay at the hospital. Auralila even asked if we could bring an outfit for Jayson something that he can wear the day that she finally gets to take him home. Please keep praying and believing with us for a miracle for Jayson.
The Nicaraguan school year runs from the beginning of February until the end of November. December is the graduation month. In Nicaragua, there are graduations from preschool (David Vega ready for his preschool graduation- pictured right), primary school (after 6th grade), secondary school (after 5th year), and university. I have been so proud to see so many children from our youth and Sunday school children graduate in this year. It is a beautiful thing to see them achieving their dreams!! Thank you to all of our Adopt-a-Student sponsors who have helped make this day possible for these kids. If you are interested in sponsoring a child for education for only $25/month, please email us info@newsongnica.org and I can get you connected with a child in need. I have been so proud to see our kids overcome obstacles to meet these educational goals. Many children in this community are not in school either because their families cannot afford to send them or because the kids have taken jobs to help their family rather than attend school. Many of their parents are uneducated and illiterate. The children who are remaining in school and graduating have overcome great odds to arrive at this day (Abraham and Rosita, two of our primary school graduates- pictured left). I am so proud of them!! I was fortunate enough to arrive home in time to attend Ariel and Teresa's high school graduation. I was so excited to stand beside them and celebrate with them! Both of these teenagers are so involved here at New Song. They have worked really hard to get to this day. They are so proud of themselves, but they still have more dreams to achieve...
Both of these teenagers have big dreams for their futures. Ariel and Teresa both want to continue studying in the university this coming year. However, their families cannot afford to send them to the university. If you would like to help them continue to dream for a better future through educational sponsorship, please email us at info@newsongnica.org. We are so proud of seeing the way that Adopt-a-Student has opened doors for our kids to dream for a better future and to achieve those dreams. Thank you to all of our sponsors for making this possible!!
I was able to spend my first afternoon back in Candelaria hanging out at the Corner House with Jasmina, baby Katalin, Gema, and baby Junieth. It was such a good afternoon just sitting with those lovely ladies, enjoying being together after a month a part, and catching up on life. I have really come to love them (and their baby girls) so much in this past year. I absolutely love getting time to love these girls and their daughters and to speak the truth of their worth over them. It was also really cool because they invited me to be a part of their Christmas eve/family birthday celebrations. I loved being invited into their family in that way. I was able to spend several hours on Christmas eve just holding sweet Katalin Adaya (pictured right) and praying over her and her life.
It's difficult to call this a highlight, but also in my first week back in Candelaria I was able to go and see precious Jayson in the hospital. It was so difficult to see him lying in that bed hooked to all of those tubes, but I thank the Lord that He made a way for me to enter in to Jayson's room and have some time with him when honestly I never should have been allowed in. I loved having time to pray over him, to speak LIFE over him, and just to tell him how much I (and Jesus) love him. As hard as it was to see him hurting so much, I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to say to him all the things I wanted to make sure he knew and to stand beside him in prayer as he fights for life (to read more about this story, read Fighting for LIFE and My Journey: I Choose Love).
We were blessed to have a World Race team here with us this month (pictured right). I love when we have World Racers visiting with us! I loved seeing how they went out into the community and formed really deep relationships with several of the families. It was great to see how the Lord moved on their hearts to reveal the people that He wanted them to build relationships with and the exact ways to invest in their lives. We also had a great time talking and playing banangrams and pictionary shuffle together.
This month I was able to attend Ariel and Teresa's high school graduation. I was so proud to see them accomplishing their goals. Teresa and Ariel are both very involved in our youth and are dreaming big dreams for their future. They are both currently looking for a way to study in the university in 2012. I was so proud to stand beside them and cheer for them as they received their diplomas! I love seeing my kids achieve their dreams and give themselves a chance at a better future.
I celebrated my first Christmas in Candelaria this year. It was a great day celebrating with our staff, youth, Sunday school kids, and the World Racers. Christmas Eve we had a staff celebration in the afternoon, I went to a celebration at the Corner House in the evening and then on the to park with the youth that night. Christmas morning we had a huge Christmas party for our Sunday school kids (Nativity drama during the party pictured above right). Spent the afternoon watching Christmas movies and then a great worship service Sunday night.
Alan David (pictured below left) is one of my sweet neighbors and one of the only kids in Candelaria that just didn't like me. He would never let me hold him. I spend so much of my time with his family, but I never could get him to warm up to me. Finally this month, he has decided that he likes me. One evening I was playing with him at church and then after service he came up and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. POR FIN!! I'm so excited that he finally likes me.
The World Race girls hosted a Day of Beauty for the women here in Candelaria. They cut and styled hair, painted nails, and did make-up. The entire day was open to all the women in Candelaria and was a way just to show them love and make them feel beautiful. I loved seeing some of our youth girls help with the Day of Beauty. Gabriela just finished beauty school and was able to use these skills as a way to minister to women in her community... beautiful! She and Teresa even want to host another Day of Beauty for the women in our outreach village of Santa Matilde. I love seeing our girls reach out in ministry.
Nicaragua has a New Year's tradition of building giant dolls that represent the old year to burn on New Year's Eve. This year I really wanted a doll of my own. So I built one together with the entire Vega family (pictured left stuffing our doll). We tracked down some old clothes and pulled hay out of the already burned sugar cane fields to stuff our doll. Then Rosita and I hopped on bikes and took off for the very top part of Chichigalpa to buy small fireworks to stuff into our doll. I love being a part of Nica traditions!!
We rang in the new year with our New Song staff, my wonderful youth, and the World Race team. Our staff and World Racers went out to dinner, hung out, and played bananagrams. Then we went to the park to meet up with all of the youth. I loved getting to spend the night with all of my favorite teenagers (pictured with a few of my teenagers above right). We laughed and talked in the park and rode fair rides together. Sydney and I rode the tea cups and ended up being the ONLY people on the entire ride (pictured with Sydney left). Hilarious! We stayed at the park until almost midnight and then drove back to Candelaria to celebrate the beginning of 2012 with all of our neighbors. We burned my doll in the street and then set off fireworks. Welcome 2012!!
Every time I drive back into Candelaria after time away, I feel my heart just flood with gratitude for the life that the Lord has called me to here. My heart just swells with love for this village and the people here. Every single time. While all of that still happened when I returned home a couple weeks ago, it was also filled with much more hurt as I came home to all the tragedy that was happening in Jayson's life and family.
On Thursday morning (2 weeks ago; my 2nd day back in Candelaria) Diego told me that Jayson had slipped into a coma (To read more on this story, read: Fighting for LIFE). I walked quietly back to my room, slid down to the floor beside my bed, buried my head in my knees and just started sobbing. I hurt for sweet Jayson and for his family, but if I'm being completely honest I was also thinking "Lord I'm just not ready. I'm not ready to walk through this again. I'm not ready to lose another child I love so soon after Anthony."
This has been a year so filled with loss and truthfully it's wearing down my heart. My life this past year has been hit with one major loss after another. Each new loss brings with it a tidal wave of grief and mourning that just seem to overpower my heart.
But it is the Lord who sustains me. So I got alone with Him. I turned on worship music and then just sat in His presence. I cried. I poured out my heart completely... all that I felt. All the hurt. All the grief. Then I just sat. I just sat and soaked in the beauty of who He is.
He is LOVE. Love is the essence of my God. Because it's the essence of my God, it's also the source of life itself. As I sat in the midst of absolutely unconditional love, I realized that the only life worth living is love. Yes, it is love that has opened the door to all the hurt my heart has endured this year, but it is also that same love that makes my life worth living. As I sat with Jesus, my heart continued to cry out, "I'm not ready. I can't do this again. I can't lose another child that I love this year." I cried until my heart was cried out and then behind the tears, came a wave of peace. The peace of God begin to fill every crevice of my heart. I realized that I would NEVER trade all the hurt that I felt over losing Anthony if it meant losing the chance to know him to to love him. I feel the same way about Jayson. Love is the only life worth living and I will embrace it, along with all its pain and loss because it's the only thing that is LIFE. Yes my heart is hurting again immensely. Yes, I've sat
several times on the floor in my room and just sobbed before the Lord.
But I also know that this is the life I want to live. The Lord, His
Kingdom, and loving His precious children are the only thing that
matter. And I want that life no matter how much it hurts sometimes. The
Lord is sustaining me. He is filling me with more and more of His love
and giving me the strength to endure way more hurt in one year's time
than I thought my heart was capable of enduring.
God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. ~2 Corinthians 9:8
The Lord is able to give me all that I need in all times and all circumstances through His grace. And so my confession is this: I choose LOVE with all it's pain and loss and fullness of life every
time. It's the only life worth living. Losing Jayson would hurt again so
much, but I would choose loving him again a 1000 times over. It's SO
worth it!!! They're so worth it! You are so worth it Jesus- worth it
all!
Many of you will remember sweet Jayson from my earlier blog posts. He is my absolutely precious 5 year old neighbor who had a brain tumor removed in June (Jayson pictured right shortly after his surgery). If you don't remember his story, read: Difficult Realities, Encountering Hope, and I Will Not Forget.
Almost a month ago (while I was in the States visiting my family), Jayson's health took a turn for the worse again. He was disoriented and began vomiting; he was rushed to the hospital in Managua. Jayson needed an additional operation, but the swelling in his brain was too great to allow for the operation. His health continued to deteriorate as the swelling increased. Eventually Jayson could no longer recognize his own mother. Wednesday night he slipped into a coma. The doctors say there is no hope.
On Friday, Rosita (Jayson's Sunday school teacher) and I made a 4-hour trip to Managua to sit with Jayson's mom so, at least for a little while, she wouldn't be alone with her pain. By the time we finally arrived in Managua, taxied across the city, and located Auralila (Jayson's mom) within the hospital we only had about 40 minutes to spend with her before making the return trip to Candelaria. She is doing well all things considering (Auralila pictured left in the black shirt). She has been sleeping on the floor at the hospital for 27 days already. She has lost a lot of weight from eating only small amounts of food from street vendors. She is really hurting, but she seems to be at peace whether the Lord takes Jayson home or heals him. She knows that it will be hard to lose him, but she doesn't want to see him suffer. She is hurting, but seemed at peace. Please just pray for strength for her. She is alone at the hospital, barely gets to see her son, and has hardly been sleeping or eating for almost a month now. She needs strength.
I had no plans to see Jayson while I was in Managua. I had hoped and had asked the Lord, but I thought that it was impossible. I had been told that, in the intensive care unit where he is being cared for, no one except one family member is allowed to enter (even that family member can only enter for an hour). However, thanks to a very compassionate doctor, I was given permission to enter and to see sweet Jayson. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus for that gift of time!!! It was both extremely difficult and such a blessing to be able to have that time with Jayson. I walked into the room and stood by his bed. Jayson is now awake (PRAISE JESUS!). He looks so tiny and fragile lying there in that hospital bed hooked to both a feeding tube and a respirator. My heart broke, but I didn't want him to see me cry. I silently prayed asking the Lord for strength. I began to lightly stroke his head and leaned down to whisper to Jayson words of love and life. I was able to tell him how much I love him, how I love his joy and the life that springs forth in his laughter, that he's strong and brave and good, and how much the Lord loves him and delights in who he is (Jayson and I playing together pictured above right). Then I began to pray. I began to pray for healing and for peace. I had prepared my heart to tell Jayson that if he wanted to fight for life then we would fight with him, but if he wanted to go and to be with Jesus then we blessed him and released him to go. However, as soon as I had uttered the words, "Jayson if you want to fight for life..." he began to nod his head yes. So I promised him that we are all standing and fighting with him in prayer. The doctors say there is no hope, but I don't believe that. Jayson wants to live. He wants to keep fighting. As long as he wants to fight, we will stand and fight with him. So I ask for your prayers on behalf of this precious little boy. I continued to pray LIFE & HEALING over Jayson. I prayed. I proclaimed life over his body. I prayed over him until he drifted off to sleep. Then I reached down and kissed his forehead one last time and whispered in his ear that I, his family, his church, and most of all the Lord love him and then slipped quietly out of the room.
I felt such a peace in that dimly lit hospital room. Unexpected peace just flooded my heart. As long as Jayson wants to fight, his family and church will fight with him. We will believe in his life. If he decides that he's ready to be with Jesus, then we feel peace in that as well. For now, I am asking for your prayers. I'm asking that you will stand and fight with us on Jayson's behalf. I ask for prayers for his family. I ask for prayers for us as a church family. We are all hurting together with Jayson. But we are also fighting... fighting for LIFE.
This highlights blog post will be short because I was only in Nicaragua for the first two weeks of November before heading to the States to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family. Here are a few highlights from the month:
This month my friend Jasmina gave birth to her beautiful baby girl. I have been anticipating the birth of this little lady for some time. Those of you who have been following my journey here, know that I have been building a relationship with Jasmina for over a year now. Jasmina even asked me to name her baby girl for her. Jasmina wanted a unique name that no one here in Nicaragua had (I'll admit it's difficult to find names that no one has that are still easy to pronounce in Spanish). I began praying for what to speak over her life through her name. I searched and prayed for a long time and came across the name Katalin Adaya which means pure jewel of God. So, here is introducing Katalin Adaya. I was blessed to even be able to go to the hospital and visit her and Jasmina there before they were released to come home (Katalin pictured above left in the hospital).
At the beginning of this month, I celebrated my 28th birthday. (To read some of my reflections starting into this year, read My Journey: 27). It was such a wonderful day! I was able to skype with my best friend and some amazing World Racers in Cambodia in the morning and then celebrate that night with my beloved church and youth here in Candelaria. The youth surprised me with a party that night after church. They had worked so hard planning, decorating, and cooking for the party. I loved it!! It's exactly what I would have wanted to do. We danced the night away and just enjoyed being together! (Pictured above right with Gema, Elisa, baby Belen, and Paula at my party).
Of course my birthday had to include Rosita cracking eggs on my head! However, she was very merciful and waited until the end of the party to start with the egg-crackin' fun! I was also surprised that this year's celebration only had 5 eggs cracked on my head. It was hilarious running through the streets with Rosita as she cracked all the eggs and all the other youth tried to avoid getting too close. (Rosita and I pictured left after all of our egg crackin' fun)
My wonderful New Song family and I were able to have an extended birthday celebration in San Juan del Sur, a beautiful beach town about 5 hours south of Chichigalpa (pictured below right). I had been wanting to visit San Juan del Sur for awhile, but it's always been a little too far away for our usual Monday/Tuesday days off. However, November 6th was election day in Nicaragua. During this day, you aren't allowed to have any sort of large gatherings of people so we had to cancel our church service and Sunday school program for that day. Unable to have any of our church activities, we thought we would take a long weekend and make the trip to San Juan del Sur. We found a great little surf hostel right on the beach and spent a couple days relaxing. They even treated me to a nice birthday dinner one night! I love my New Song family!!
Another birthday this month is that my precious little girl, Baby Junieth, is turning 1. Her birthday is November 17th. Unfortunately, I won't be here to celebrate with her, but I do celebrate this year of her life and the relationship that the Lord has given me with her and her family. This little girl has captured my heart in a way that I never could have imagined. I have loved building relationship with her and her family over this past year. To read more of my story with baby Junieth, read: 1. The Road to Relationship & Redemption (Part 2) 2. Dedication 3. A Momma's Heart 4. Suckers, Hugs, & Whispers of His Love 5. Difficult Realities
I have been so thankful to be a part of this little girl's life during this first year! I love pouring out the Lord's love over her, playing with her, holding her, and kissing her cheeks every day. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for her and for her family in this next year!
I was able to go and visit the three brothers from Nuevo Amanecer again this week. I am enjoying getting to know Marlon, Luis, and David more. They are such sweet boys! I have been amazed at the outpouring of support and love for these boys after I shared their story about a month ago (read it here: The Poor Among the Poor). One of our supporters sent money to buy a new bed for the boys so that they were no longer sharing one tiny cot. (The boys pictured right on their new bed). We took the bed to the boys and they were thrilled!! I love being able to bless this precious family! There are so many other children in need of sponsorship. If you would like to sponsor another one of our precious children for only $25/month, please email me at the link on the left side of this page.
Once Jasmina and sweet Katalin arrived home from the hospital, I was able to spend an entire afternoon with them (pictured left). I loved just being there hanging out with the two of them, talking to Jasmina about how beautiful Katalin is, and cradling Katalin in my arms and praying over her. I have already fallen in love with this sweet girl!! I can't wait to be a part of her life and to see the beautiful plans that the Lord has for her. I have been anticipating her arrival and it was such a sweet afternoon sitting with momma and baby.
Rosita and I have started having sleepovers at her house about once a week. Even though I was only here for 1/2 the month, we were able to have three sleepovers at her house. (Enchilada dinner in bed at one of our sleepovers pictured right). Oh, how I love this girl!! I love entering into her world and really being a part of her daily life in a new way. I'm also getting to spend extra time with her entire family through our sleepovers. I love just lying there at night talking and laughing with Rosita. She is opening up more and more during our sleepover nights. I am so thankful for this time we've had together!!
November 12th marks one year since Barb Coupe came to work with us here at New Song. We have been blessed to have Barb here with us working with our short-term teams, sharing the gospel in the villages (especially Nuevo Amanecer), teaching Bible study to Whitney and me, and working with our youth. She has a heart for evangelism and for teaching young people to walk with the Lord. The Lord has also used her to comfort widows within the community. We are thankful for Barb and glad that the Lord has brought her here. I had a great time celebrating her one year anniversary with her!
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night. I tossed and turned and cried and prayed most of the night. 
earth. 
suffering has ended. Thankful that he is with Jesus. Thankful that he is running in healing and joy.
eternity. It is why my heart can say as David did is Psalm 62:5 
my Sunday school teachers (
fighting alone for so long there at the hospital. I think it was incredibly encouraging to her to have a day of really fighting together with her family and community. It was such a sweet reunion! The biggest blessing for Auralia was getting to see her baby girl, Griselda. Griselda is almost 8 months old and her mom has been gone for two months now. This has been one of the hardest sacrifices that Auralia had to make in order to take care of her son. It was beautiful getting to see her holding her daughter and talking and laughing with her siblings and mom. We laughed and talked together. We prayed and fought together for Jayson's life. 
so much more frail and less responsive than he did when I saw him two weeks ago. His arms and legs are skin and bones while his stomach is swollen because his body is no longer producing waste like it is supposed to. A week ago he developed an infection in his blood and lungs. He has been receiving medication for this infection, but the medicine is not working. The doctors continue to say that there is no hope. 
in La Isla. If the children could begin now drinking clean water, it would dramatically increase their life expectancy. Thanks to the generosity of the New London CT Rotary, twenty water filters were donated to families in the church in La Isla. For only $50 an entire family now has access to clean water. These water filters are attached to a bucket and then can be filled with contaminated water from their local wells and it filters out 99.9% of all contaminates. (
We gathered under the tin roof of the church with the children and their parents laughing and talking as the filters were assembled. We began to sing songs with the children as we waited. I saw all of the beautiful children singing, dancing, and laughing (
the Lord for providing for this need. Then each family came forward to receive their water filter. As they came forward, their joy was shining forth. Afterward Pastor Pablo explained to each of the families how to use and to clean their water filter (
from his life, but he keeps turning back. He is struggling with the Lord right now. We talked a bit (as much as you can with someone who is drunk) about the struggles he's been having lately. He asked, 
Lord and desiring to see the other youth grow too. He came to talk to me one night because he was concerned about some of the youth who are falling away from their walk with the Lord. His heart broke to see them turning to other things. We talked about how he can call his brothers in Christ to more. We talked about praying for them and speaking the truth in love. So many of the teenagers here have the tendency to pull one another down when one of them is doing well. It's amazingly beautiful for me to see him begin to build up his brothers in Christ and call them to walk more intimately with the Lord. I'm so proud!! 
Lord. She told me that many of the other girls in the village asked her, 
dad). She began to share about how violent he is when he is drinking (which is pretty much all the time). This isn't the first time she has shared with me in this way. Today she confessed to me that he often hits her and even hit her several times when she was pregnant. Once he hit her hard enough to knock her backward and almost push her through the plastic sheet wall of their house. 
friends, birthday cake, and a pinata if you're Nicaraguan. However, Jayson's birthday is filled with hospitals, medication, respirators, feeding tubes, and infection, cancer, and pain. 
on the sidewalk on a piece of cardboard every night for two months now (
December is the graduation month. In Nicaragua, there are graduations from preschool (
send them or because the kids have taken jobs to help their family rather than attend school. Many of their parents are uneducated and illiterate. The children who are remaining in school and graduating have overcome great odds to arrive at this day (
graduation. I was so excited to stand beside them and celebrate with them! Both of these teenagers are so involved here at New Song. 
Jasmina, baby Katalin, Gema, and baby Junieth. It was such a good afternoon just sitting with those lovely ladies, enjoying being together after a month a part, and catching up on life. I have really come to love them (and their baby girls) so much in this past year. I absolutely love getting time to love these girls and their daughters and to speak the truth of their worth over them. It was also really cool because they invited me to be a part of their Christmas eve/family birthday celebrations. I loved being invited into their family in that way. I was able to spend several hours on Christmas eve just holding sweet Katalin Adaya (
was so difficult to see him lying in that bed hooked to all of those tubes, but I thank the Lord that He made a way for me to enter in to Jayson's room and have some time with him when honestly I never should have been allowed in. I loved having time to pray over him, to speak LIFE over him, and just to tell him how much I (and Jesus) love him. As hard as it was to see him hurting so much, I am forever grateful to have the opportunity to say to him all the things I wanted to make sure he knew and to stand beside him in prayer as he fights for life (to read more about this story, read 
loved seeing how they went out into the community and formed really deep relationships with several of the families. It was great to see how the Lord moved on their hearts to reveal the people that He wanted them to build relationships with and the exact ways to invest in their lives. We also had a great time talking and playing banangrams and pictionary shuffle together.
Candelaria that just didn't like me. He would never let me hold him. I spend so much of my time with his family, but I never could get him to warm up to me. Finally this month, he has decided that he likes me. One evening I was playing with him at church and then after service he came up and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. POR FIN!! I'm so excited that he finally likes me. 
Candelaria. They cut and styled hair, painted nails, and did make-up. The entire day was open to all the women in Candelaria and was a way just to show them love and make them feel beautiful. I loved seeing some of our youth girls help with the Day of Beauty. Gabriela just finished beauty school and was able to use these skills as a way to minister to women in her community... beautiful! She and Teresa even want to host another Day of Beauty for the women in our outreach village of Santa Matilde. I love seeing our girls reach out in ministry. 
wanted a doll of my own. So I built one together with the entire Vega family (
youth, and the World Race team. Our staff and World Racers went out to dinner, hung out, and played bananagrams. Then we went to the park to meet up with all of the youth. I loved getting to spend the night with all of my favorite teenagers (
and I rode the tea cups and ended up being the ONLY people on the entire ride (
started sobbing. I hurt for sweet Jayson and for his family, but if I'm being completely honest I was also thinking 
only life worth living is love. Yes, it is love that has opened the door to all the hurt my heart has endured this year, but it is also that same love that makes my life worth living. 
precious 5 year old neighbor who had a brain tumor removed in June (
we finally arrived in Managua, taxied across the city, and located Auralila (Jayson's mom) within the hospital we only had about 40 minutes to spend with her before making the return trip to Candelaria.
birth of this little lady for some time. Those of you who have been following my journey here, know that I have been building a relationship with Jasmina for over a year now. Jasmina even asked me to name her baby girl for her. Jasmina wanted a unique name that no one here in Nicaragua had (I'll admit it's difficult to find names that no one has that are still easy to pronounce in Spanish). I began praying for what to speak over her life through her name. I searched and prayed for a long time and came across the name Katalin Adaya which means 
reflections starting into this year, read 
Of course my birthday had to include Rosita cracking eggs on my head! However, she was very merciful and waited until the end of the party to start with the egg-crackin' fun! I was also surprised that this year's celebration only had 5 eggs cracked on my head. It was hilarious running through the streets with Rosita as she cracked all the eggs and all the other youth tried to avoid getting too close. (
wanting to visit San Juan del Sur for awhile, but it's always been a little too far away for our usual Monday/Tuesday days off. However, November 6th was election day in Nicaragua. During this day, you aren't allowed to have any sort of large gatherings of people so we had to cancel our church service and Sunday school program for that day. Unable to have any of our church activities, we thought we would take a long weekend and make the trip to San Juan del Sur. We found a great little surf hostel right on the beach and spent a couple days relaxing. They even treated me to a nice birthday dinner one night! I love my New Song family!! 
is November 17th. Unfortunately, I won't be here to celebrate with her, but I do celebrate this year of her life and the relationship that the Lord has given me with her and her family. This little girl has captured my heart in a way that I never could have imagined. I have loved building relationship with her and her family over this past year. To read more of my story with baby Junieth, read:
enjoying getting to know Marlon, Luis, and David more. They are such sweet boys! I have been amazed at the outpouring of support and love for these boys after I shared their story about a month ago (read it here: 
afternoon with them (
was only here for 1/2 the month, we were able to have three sleepovers at her house. (
We have been blessed to have Barb here with us working with our short-term teams, sharing the gospel in the villages (especially Nuevo Amanecer), teaching Bible study to Whitney and me, and working with our youth. She has a heart for evangelism and for teaching young people to walk with the Lord. The Lord has also used her to comfort widows within the community. We are thankful for Barb and glad that the Lord has brought her here. I had a great time celebrating her one year anniversary with her!